So my 19, soon to be 20-year-old has moved out.  I finally told her that it was time to go after yet another night of disrespect and eye rolling.    I figured that she would become even more unbearable when her Father came back in to the picture and I was right.  After 4 months of no contact, she was thrilled to be visiting with him again and her attitude worsened by the minute.   I finally told her it was time, that I loved her but that she needed to get her own place and that I would support her every step of the way.  

She moved to her Dad’s house, which is fine, it’s just not what I had hoped.  I had hoped she would have tried to get her own place but this is her journey.    I am very sad that she talks to me like I am someone she hates.   I was talking to her last night reminding her to make sure she keeps her car payments going, to which she replied that she can’t afford the payments anymore and won’t be giving me as much money.    I asked her to come over to discuss it, that we could go over her financials to figure out what would work for both of us, but she was acting strange and kept saying things like “So your going to take my car if I don’t pay then?”.  I didn’t understand this at first but realized later that she did this,  I am thinking,  so her Dad would feel bad for her??   In the background her Father was screaming obscenities about me.   I told her to come by the house so we could talk in person.  I hung up the phone totally hurt and really confused.     I decided when I got home that I would take my 16-year-old out to dinner, just her and I.  I  really needed some positive daughter time!

In my last post I mentioned that I had received a certified letter and had been unable to deliver it to my daughter.   The day before yesterday, another letter arrives regular mail from her Probation Officer.   I sent yet another text message letting her know that another letter had arrived and asked if she wanted to meet.   I never heard back.

So last night / Dinner time:   Sitting at our table, getting ready to order drinks.  

Text rec’d:   “Mom, can we meet tonight? I want to pick up those letters and my clothes”

Text sent:    “Sure!  We are at Mikuni’s having dinner…want to join us?” 

Text rec’d:   “Okay!  I’ll head over now!” 

15 minutes later, I was stood in the middle of this restaurant, both arms around my child hugging her so hard I thought I might pop her head off. 

We sat and ate dinner, we giggled and talked just like old times.  There were a few moments where I had become emotional while telling her just how much I worry about her.   To my surprise when I looked at her she was also in tears.   We didn’t speak much on the topic, but I knew that she not only understood how much she had worried me but felt bad about it too. 

My daughter is still living and in love with the drug dealer boyfriend.  I did my very best not to speak of him and when he was mentioned not to roll my eyes.    My daughter saw on my phone that his phone number (the number I text to speak with her) was labeled “Dip Shit”.  My daughter picked up the phone and started laughing out loud and just said “Mom!!”.    I explained while laughing with her, that I loved her and have seen way too much to ever think of him as anything less.   I  did ask her  to understand that I will never accept him, like him or want him in her life.  I asked her to give me that much, to which she nodded and said “I know..it’s okay”. 

My daughter did not seem under the influence of anything..drugs…alcohol or the boyfriend.  It was like God gave me back my child for a short period of time to enjoy and love.   It felt like I had been given a gift…an early Mothers Day gift I suppose.   🙂   

I brought her back home to see her baby sister who would not stop hugging and kissing her.  We took tons of pictures and all of us girls sat on the couch together talking about absolutely nothing at all. 

 I do not know how I lucked out being able to spend so such quality time with my daughter, but I will cherish it until I am lucky enough to have it again.

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