My daughter did not appear for her 05/17/10 hearing.
A warrant has been issued.
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On Monday 05/17/10, she was required to appear. My daughter told me that she had gone to the hearing and that everything worked out.
My middle daughter was visiting for her birthday (same day) and my daughter came over to wish her a happy birthday.
My 2 middle girls and I sat in sadness watching my daughter/their sister nod off on the couch. I would shake her and she would wake up and say that she was really tired..that she had not slept at all the night before. I would leave her alone and she would nod off again.
At one point my baby took a drawing toy and sat on her lap and even while playing with her sister, her eyes would roll. I took my baby off of her and put a pillow on the couch next to her. We continued our celebration while she slept on the couch.
Then at 10:30, Dipshit drives up and she springs to her feet. As we are giving her big hugs and I love you’s in front of our big living room window, he screeches off. My daughter called him on the phone and asked him to come back..which he did a few minutes later.
As I closed the door… I was so proud that for the first time in a long time I didn’t fall apart. I wasn’t angry with her and I didn’t want to chase after her.
I just looked at my family and said…”She is a very sick little girl who needs our prayers badly”.
And that was it… we continued as if nothing had happened and laughed our way through the rest of the night.
The only thing I wonder now is will they come looking for her, or will she be considered on the run?
Her Mother's Blog 
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May 19, 2010 at 10:14 pm
badmammy
wow! I just looked at my family and said…”She is a very sick little girl who needs our prayers badly”.
so true. I include ya;ll in my prayers.
May 20, 2010 at 12:17 am
HerBigSad
A few thoughts, and none with any guarantee of accuracy…. 🙂
I think mostly the warrant will mean that if she is pulled over for any reason (or is a passenger in a car that is pulled over), or if she is found loitering someplace and the cop thinks it looks odd, at 2 AM, etc, they will “run her name” on their little computer system and the warrant will show up. At that point, they will arrest her and bring her in. (Don’t be surprised if it takes a while to become effective – my daughter got another six weeks of time while the warrant made the journey from
If she had the desire to make it better on herself, she could turn herself in to probation as having violated and having a warrant, and they’ll still arrest her, but the judge may be more likely to perhaps consider drug diversion treatment or a lighter sentence? Maybe? That’s how it seems to go around here.
If they come looking for her, you could tell them where she might be found (if you know). I will admit to doing this. In fact, I called once and outright told probation that she was loaded and what address she was at. To me, having her in jail alive getting sober and having yet another opportunity to think about things, and maybe choose to work harder at sobriety was worth having her pissed at me if she found out I was the snitch. She was arrested within the hour that time. I don’t do that every time, but that one time, it felt right. However, she did her thinking, got out after a few months and was loaded 9 minutes later when she went to a friend’s house to pick up her clothing. She picked up, alright! More than clothes. So what did we gain?
But you are right with your statement “who needs our prayers badly.” I think, bottom line, that that is the one of the most important things we can do, is give our children’s care over to their/our higher power. I hear He loves her more than I do, and that’s a whole lotta love.
May 25, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Peggy
What HerBigSad said above has also been my experience. The cops don’t have time to run down a FTA (failure to appear). However, my daughter was arrested on such a warrant in a routine traffic stop in the car she was riding. Her drug dealer/boyfriend bailed her out 12 hours later. Good for you for being able to carry on with your evening and family celebration. That is a huge step in your own recovery from this horrible disease. Thinking of you – – – hang in there.
May 20, 2010 at 2:35 am
Syd
Glad that you enjoyed the evening. And that you were able to love her and yet let her go. She has a Higher Power–I hope that she can recognize that.
May 20, 2010 at 3:22 am
Barbara
Good for you! I am glad your family was able to enjoy the celebration. I will be praying for your daughter, my heart goes out to her. (hugs to you)
May 20, 2010 at 6:26 am
Renee
So often the addict in our lives becomes the sole focus of everythng in our lives, which often makes the rest of the family feel pretty cheated. I am glad that you took the opportunity to put yourself and the rest of your family on top of your priority list and actually “celebrate” during a celabration. I know what it is like to watch your child nod at a family function. My son did it at the last two Christmas Eve dinners we went to (we go to an excellent chinese restaurant every year). He couldn’t even make it to the main course, just would take a bite or two, then nod. So embarassing and frustrating, but mostly sad, and i now mostly pray. I am praying for you daughter to conquer her addiction and to be restored to health. ((((HUGS))))
May 20, 2010 at 4:08 am
dawn
At least the baby’s eyes weren’t rolling in disgust at her sister….I have watched THAT and its horrid to see. Then, they start batting them to wake them up. Pint used to say at age 2, mommy’s sleep standing again. Very sad
May 21, 2010 at 5:23 am
cdcb
So proud of you and how you held it together. Letting go is the hardest thing in the world but so necessary for our own sanity and their recovery. I’m praying for both of you.
Carolyn