My Daughter is 21 years old today. 

I had always imagined this day to be entirely different.   Family tradition requires the new “legal” drinker to head to Vegas for the weekend with their older siblings or Aunties/Uncles.    This was the weekend I had always said that I would opt out of since I would not be able to take off the “Mom” hat and put on the “lets party” hat with my child.    My sister and nieces had all decided that when she turned 21 they were going to show her one hell of a time.  It’s strange at how  things have changed.  

Tonight’s celebration will include dinner with just our family and gifts.   I plan on buying her clothes since I know how much she loves new clothes and maybe a new bikini for summer.    I have confirmed that I will be picking her up from work, even though I will dread driving in to the strip club parking lot.   We will be meeting the rest of my family at the restaurant. 

I’ve been stressing about whether or not she will order alcohol.  If she orders it with her dinner and we are paying for it, then I am essentially buying her a drink.   I have no intention of ordering a drink and toasting to her 21st birthday, unless it is with a Diet Pepsi.  I just hope it’s not an issue tonight. 

I am grateful to God that she is another year older.  A year ago I wasn’t sure if she would ever see her 21st birthday or if I would ever be able to let go of her addiction and allow her to own it all on her own.    It has been difficult, but I am making progress.

Just last Thursday she called me in the morning begging me to come pick her up out-of-town.   I told her that I had meetings all day that I couldn’t get out of and couldn’t leave.  I asked why she was almost 2 hours away without a ride or any friends and she advised that she had “Just got out of jail”.   My daughter was arrested for possession of a drug called Suboxine (she claims) which is used to help addicts get off of Oxycontin.   They kept her because she had a warrant in another county and they released her with a “Promise to Appear”.   

WHAT THE?  

My daughter had a warrant…. was arrested because she was obviously doing something she shouldn’t have been, was found with a drug and WAS RELEASED?????      I don’t get it.   

I am looking forward to tonight.  I hope to God she comes to dinner sober because I will enjoy her so much more.  

Wish me luck!

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