I spent most of the day today holding my daughter as she begged me to help her stop the pain.   I felt panicked, terrified that she would be unable to calm herself.   I called our county offices for help..trying to see if we could get her in some sort of detox program, but they couldn’t help her because she did not have any form of identification.   I explained that she had nothing but the clothes on her back and her desire to get clean,  but their hands were tied. 

After hours of her begging and her cries for help from the pain, my husband and I took her to the hospital.  They gave her some meds to help with withdrawals and suggested we get some help with her detox, mainly due to how dangerous it could be.   The doctor was very nice and he was very helpful.  I’m just frustrated with the system.   

I called a Detox facility tonight that the doctor referred us to, and they were wonderful.  They were concerned just as the doctor was that she was detoxing cold turkey and warned that it was dangerous.   They spoke with my daughter for a while and then informed us that they would take her in.   Their program is only 14 days long but it is safe and they have medical staff 24/7.    The cost for 14 days is $2,000, so thank god we saved some money before my husband was laid off.   I was told that my daughter will sit in group and individual therapy while she is there, meeting others just like her and people who are now clean and sober.   This facility is for Opiate addiction only, so she will be amongst many others just like her.   After 14 days, she is released back to us and hopefully she will be on the right path to a clean and sober life. 

I’m sitting now and she is in bed…calling me every few minutes just to make sure I am still there or asking if I will hold her for a little while.   I gave her a bath earlier and washed her hair.   My grown daughter looked so fragile in the tub…her drug habit has taken a toll on her body… she is so-so thin.    I sat with her on our couch after her bath, combed out her hair, and then braided it.  I had flashbacks to when she was a little girl and these moments were usually filled with stories from school and boys she liked, and wondering how it came to this.    How on earth did she get so bad, so far gone so quick.      

Tomorrow I’ll take her to the Detox facility and hopefully this is the beginning of a brand new girl.